Premier Rachel Notley says Alberta is willing to buy the Trans Mountain pipeline. Here’s what taxpayers would get.

For sale by owner: one antique oil pipeline. Plenty of mileage on her but she’s still running.

Trans Mountain pipeline construction in the 50s

Built in the good old days, before “Indians” were allowed to hire lawyers. Pipeline includes a right-of-way through 15 B.C. reserves.

Trans Mountain construction in Jasper National Park

Lining up and welding at Windy Point in Jasper National Park.

Comes with a vintage Korean War-era tank farm. City of Burnaby not exactly as pictured.

Trans Mountain's Burnaby tank farm in the 50's

Burnaby Terminal near Vancouver, with Burrard Inlet, Vancouver Harbour, in the distance.

Reliable as they come. Only 69 oil spills since records started being kept in 1961.

Muddy construction of original Trans Mountain line

Coat-and-wrap crew bogged down in muskeg east of Yellowhead Pass, Alberta.

Some rust. Pipe walls might need extra wrapping in some places. A great fixer-upper!

Wrapping machine during Trans Mountain construction in Alberta

Wrapping machine applying protective covering at Snaring River, Alberta.

Be careful running diluted bitumen at high pressure through a pipe this old. If you have a blowout near a river, budget a few billion dollars for attempted cleanup.

Pipe construction of original Trans Mountain line at Coquihalla Canyon

Final tie-in of pipe sections at foot of cliff at Iago, Coquihalla Canyon.

Owner looking to leave town in a hurry. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. NO LOWBALLERS. BRING CASH.

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Okay, this ad is a joke, but the photos are all real. They come from a 1953 promotional book published by the original Trans Mountain pipeline company. Kinder Morgan bought the aging pipeline in 2005. The company has no plans to replace the now 65-year-old infrastructure. The proposed Trans Mountain “expansion” or “twinning” would simply add another, larger pipe across B.C., taking advantage of the existing right-of-way.